Its been a while since I last blogged, I know. I’ve just been stuck and unsure of what to blog about really. I have a lot that I could blog about, but nothing that I’ve really felt like blogging about. A lot has happened in this past month alone. I’ve had some great times and some bad. Its hard to believe that this has all happened in just the past month.

To start, I’ve learned that because I’m homless, I’m not allowed to have nice things like computers, cell phone, TV, a 19 year old van, kindle fire, ipad, clothes, food. I’m not allowed to have these nice things. Which you know what, that’s just a bunch of bullshit. Homeless or not, I don’t really care what anyone else says, I am allowed to have nice things.

In this past week, I’ve learned to just ignore the bullshit that people say. Their words and feelings don’t really matter. Sure, they can be hurtful, but I don’t have to let them be hurtful. I learned that I can just walk away. I can report the people, block them, ask them to stop with the bullshit, walk away, and just MOVE ON. I can do all these things. I don’t have to let the words of stupid, ignorant people bother me. And I’m happy with that.

I guess, I’ve just come to finally accept that I don’t need their approval. I’m beyond them. I know how this life is. I’ve been homeless, I’ve been through the abuse, I’ve done a hell of a lot. Their minds can even comprehend all that I’ve gone through and honestly, I can’t expect them too. They haven’t gone through what I have so I can’t expect them to understand or even want too. The fact of the matter is, its hard to understand something that you’ve never gone through. They’ve never gone through what I am, or they wouldn’t know. I understand that now.

No, them not understanding doesn’t justify their actions. Yes, calling me a liar and all that is wrong. But you know what, its not worth arguing over anymore. I’ve got my life. I have a lot of experience in life. While they’ve been sheltered away by their parents, I haven’t. Sure, my mum tried to protect me from what was out there, but she’s only human. A lot happened to me and around me, things that neither I or my mom could control. Its taught me a lot and gave me a lot. Though it was all hard, I’m making it through. I don’t need to listen to the bullshit that others can’t keep to themselves.

Someone special to me, his name is Jake, and he’s kind of my on again off again boyfriend. We’ve got a complicated relationship to say the least. He said something to me the other day. He said,

“They’re all just jealous of you, baby. You’re a doll and I love you. They’re just envious of what an amazing and wonderful person you are. After all, you’re like a star! A celebrity! That’s why your name can’t stay off their lips.”

I know he was only saying it to be sweet. He’s such a suck up. *rolls eyes* But, he’s right in a way. I must be something pretty damn amazing if people can’t stop talking about me. I mean, I hear some bullshit that people are saying about me on a daily basis. Before, it would hurt, and now, I think its kinda funny. To know that people have so much to say about me, true or not, good or bad, for them to feel the need to always talk about me, I must be a celebrity.

Who ever said celebrities only have fans? Hey, if you’re spoken about enough, you must be something amazing, otherwise people wouldn’t bother. So, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m amazing, otherwise I wouldn’t be worth talking about.

I won’t deny that their words may hurt sometimes, but now I know that it doesn’t matter. They’re just mean and ignorant and they love me. I’ve got better things to do then deal with their bullshit. After all, I’m a celebrity!

So I’m happy now. And that’s all that matters.